WALT: Use adjectives (describing words) to make our writing interesting to the reader.
We pretended we were a soldier in the war, using our senses to describe what it was like.
I saw...very bright gun flashes and a lot of bullets flying through the air. I saw blood dripping down from other allies.
I heard...blood dripping down from my arm and guns reloading.
I felt...pain all coming from the bullets stuck down deep in my arm.
I wondered...if I could survive this giant field of blood and escape safely.
To Matthew,
ReplyDeleteI like how you have added detail to your writing Matthew to make me feel like one of those soldiers, as a reader you have painted a picture for me of what it must have been like. Could you add anymore adjectives to your writing? How could you describe the bullets that were flying through the air or the blood that was dripping? What did the guns reloading sound like?
From Mrs Head
To Mrs Head
Deletethere was swarms of bullets drifting through the air and a reloading sound like "Ching" and then the shell of the bullet would drop down onto the floor of the battle field that was really blood. The blood sounded like tiny drops of water hitting the bottom of the battle field.
From Matthew